Recently, ghosting in a relationship has been seen as the easiest way of breaking up with someone, especially among guys. Hei! I am not trying to be biased or judgmental here. Some men ghost women for fun, and some because there was no feeling from the onset.
Years back, I met this guy; he calls early in the morning to tell me good morning and how am the best thing that had ever happened to him lavish me with presents and gifts.
Suddenly, he stopped calling; he does take or return my calls, finds it difficult to reply to my text, and is easily irritated with my presence. Next thing, he disappears into thin air! I asked myself what happened; why did he ghost me?
This question kept me thinking for years because I had fallen deeply for this guy and needed to know why I got ghosted. Later I realize why men ghost women, and sharing it with you is my utmost priority.
So if a guy has ghosted you or you want to know why guys ghost in relationships? This article is for you.
There is no smoke without fire…..
Don’t be shocked by this….!
Do you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, more than 25% of people have reported being ghosted at least once by a romantic partner? Some even experience ghosting after a long relationship.
Most often, ghosting comes in the form of not responding to messages. Still, it can extend to unprompted blocking on social media, failing to follow up on plans, or even disappearing without a trace.
First, I want to say that I don’t condone ghosting. It’s hurtful, confusing, and inconsiderate, especially ghosting after a long relationship. But there is a silver lining…
Although ghosting hurts more in the short term and can prevent you from getting closure, it can be easier to get over than a traditional breakup.
This isn’t in defense of guys who ghost. It’s the exact opposite.
Ghosting is for the immature, and I believe men who ghost are rude and not worthy of your time. If you keep this in mind, it will make moving on much more accessible. Plus, closure is overrated.
Even if a guy seems upfront about ending things, there’s no guarantee he’s telling the truth. Men will often lie to spare their feelings.
Why Did He Ghost Me?
Now based on the truth I found out, let me tell you why ghosting in a relationship happens. There are five reasons why men ghost women in the modern dating world.
#1. There’s No Love for Chemistry
There is no relationship without feeling. Sometimes, men who ghost do that when you notice they don’t feel a lady again. Hence he’s realized that there’s no spark between you. Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves and miss essential indicators of incompatibility.
#2. He wants to leave it open-ended
Many guys think that if they don’t break up with you, they can pick up right where things left off, no matter how much time has passed. And the scary thing is, they’re often right. Think about it. You go on three dates with someone; you sleep together once… He calls you and says, “I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t think we have enough in common.”
You’re upset but appreciate his honesty, allowing you to move on.
But what if he never called you? At first, you’re hurt and confused, but since you didn’t have that potentially difficult conversation, you eventually stop thinking about him.
You never really deal with the breakup, and your last memory of him was having a pretty decent date and waiting for his call… The truth is, it’s easier to come back from ghosting someone than to come back after an actual “breakup”.
So watch out! He’ll return to haunt you in a few months when he’s lonely or wants to hook up.
#3. Understanding When Ghosting Is Justified
Ghosting is generally considered a rude and immature way to end a relationship, but it may be justified in some situations. If you exhibit aggressive or violent behavior during a date, your partner may feel uncomfortable and decide it’s best to cut off contact for their safety.
It’s essential to take responsibility for your actions in these situations and recognize that your behavior may have contributed to the ghosting.
#4. Considering External Factors
In some cases, the reason for the ghosting may have nothing to do with you. Your partner may have experienced a personal tragedy, such as a death in the family, or been involved in a severe accident.
While it can be difficult not to take the ghosting personally, it’s important to remember that external factors can impact a person’s behavior and decisions. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and avoid making assumptions about their motivations.
#5. His definition of relationships
You will agree with me that relationship is viewed in different ways by different persons. Most men, even women, don’t believe in a lasting relationship. Some define a relationship as having sex and trying to satisfy your sexual urge. This is affected by how they grow up, how their parents interact, and how they’ve been treated in relationships in the past.
A friend once told me that a relationship for him is ‘A hit and Run Activities, ‘ which means that all he does is get a girl, make her fall for him, sleep with her, and bounce.
Also, those who date more often and casually may think that not responding to a couple of texts isn’t the end of the world. On the other hand, those who are inexperienced or more strictly monogamous see it in a much more negative light. It’s a matter of perception.
#6. He doesn’t want to have the conversation
Many men lack the emotional intelligence and guts to be upfront about ending a relationship.
In this case, he’s hoping you won’t confront him, and he can forget about the whole thing without ever having to take any responsibility for his actions.
In the end, whatever reason he had for ghosting you, it comes down to one simple fact: This guy isn’t that into you.
I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.
So if you’re sitting next to the phone all day, thinking about this guy, remember that he has already moved on, and you should too.
#7. His scared of confrontation.
Most men would instead stick needles in their eyes than confront a woman, primarily for fear that she may cry — and he will, in turn, feel like the wrong person.
Men love to use whatever excuse they can think of rather than admit they fear confrontation. That’s why ghosting has become such a big thing — and today’s use of technology as a primary means of communication in dating has ghosting just that much easier.
Instead, an empowering action to avoid being ghosted is this: Take responsibility or acknowledge whatever you feel he wants to confront you, rather than waiting for him to do it. Because let’s be honest, you’ll be waiting a long time.
How to Avoid Being Ghosted
You can avoid being ghosted by men. It’s very simple dear. Here are the ways to stop men from ghosting you and keep them coming back for more.
#1. Your spec of what you want should be high
Men will always ghost you when they find out you don’t have a choice regarding who you want to be with.
Don’t think that trying to play cool by accepting any decision from a guy will make him like you more. Many men will lose respect for you if you don’t stand up for yourself and assert your desire to be adequately treated. This is because men subconsciously want a woman who holds them to a high standard.
He wants to be that knight in shining armor, but first, you must be his princess.
So how can you establish your high standards? Don’t let him ignore you or be his booty call. Don’t let him cancel plans or flake out on you at the last minute.
#2. Give him the impression that you are the Best
No one in a position of power in the relationship ever got ghosted. Also, men ghost women they believe have nothing to offer apart from sex. He can’t ghost you. Don’t just disturb him with calls or texts all the time.
Let him be the one to pursue you.
That way, you build a solid foundation rather than jumping straight into a relationship. This will lead to a stronger, more intimate relationship in the long run.
#3. Only date men who can communicate honestly and directly
Men who are truly secure in themselves won’t ghost you. But how can you know for sure?
Finding out if he fits the bill takes openness and honesty. You can’t compromise on things that are important to you.
You’ll know he lacks these qualities when you bring up something tangible and revealing, and he makes a joke or changes the subject.
Let silences hang rather than trying to fill them, and you’ll see what he’s all about.
Read Also: 15 Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Get Married
Ghosting Alternative: Caspering
Caspering is essentially a form of “friendly ghosting,” where one person sends a polite message to end a relationship instead of disappearing without explanation. Rather than leaving the other person in the dark, a Casperer will express gratitude for the time spent together and convey that they do not believe the relationship is a good match.
The message might read like this: “Thank you for a lovely evening. I enjoyed spending time with you, but I don’t think we’re compatible for a long-term relationship. I wish you all the best in your search for love.”
Why is Caspering a Better Option than Ghosting?
Ghosting, which involves cutting off all communication without explanation, can leave the other person confused, hurt, and disrespected. On the other hand, Casper acknowledges the time spent together and expresses gratitude for the experience. It also shows that the Casperer is mature enough to have a difficult conversation and values the other person’s feelings.
By choosing Casper instead of a ghost, you are taking the high road and showing that you are a respectful and considerate person. And if you find yourself on the receiving end of a Caspering message, remember that it’s better than being left in the dark.
How to Casper Someone
If you’ve decided it’s time to end a relationship, whether, after one date or several, Caspering can be a great way to do it. Here are some tips on how to Casper someone:
- Be Honest: Be honest with the other person about your feelings and why you don’t think the relationship is a good fit. This will help them understand and move on.
- Be Polite: Use polite language and express gratitude for the time spent together. Avoid being harsh or critical, as this can be hurtful.
- Be Clear: Make sure your message is unambiguous. Avoid leaving the other person with false hope or mixed signals.
- Be Respectful: Respect the other person’s feelings and avoid blaming or criticizing them. Remember, you’re ending the relationship, not attacking the person.
Caspering may be a new trend, but it’s worth adopting. By ending a relationship politely and respectfully, you show that you value the other person’s feelings and are willing to have a difficult conversation. So the next time you decide to ghost Casper, remember that Caspering is the better option.
Change your perception of Ghosting.
Ghosting is the act of your date / the man you see disappearing on you without any explanation.
Sometimes, that a guy doesn’t take your calls might not necessarily mean he has ghosted you. How far into a relationship must you be before it’s considered ghosting?
Some even think they’ve been ghosted when a guy doesn’t respond to their Tinder message… This is where a change of mindset comes into play.
Conversely, if you’ve been together for months and he skips town, that’s not ghosting, either….It’s something much worse. I don’t want you to think that this is normal. This person is incredibly inconsiderate and bordering on abusive.