Why Am I Still Single? 15 Honest Reasons

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A certainty- Your life today is a product of your daily choices. An understanding of this goes a long way in answering the question, “Why am I still single till now?”

Probably, you are out there asking yourself, “Why am I still single?” “What is wrong with me?” because you believe something is wrong with you.

Truth is, there is nothing wrong with you.

Yes, all your friends have gotten a life partner, and you’re the last standing in singlehood. Trust me, your world hasn’t crumbled. There is a reason!

You choose to let in whom you want in your life, just as you choose to walk away from whom you want to.

While some people stay single because of fear of getting into an abusive relationship, some are because of certain circumstances they need to fix in their lives.

On the flip side, some stay single because of the bad experience they’ve had in previous relationships.

It could also result from your perspectives about relationships. – some people see relationships as stressful and daunting. Such people will remain alone until their perspective changes.

It is often difficult to believe you are single, regardless of the reason. However, everything still balls down to you.

You can change your relationship status, but if a negative thing about you reoccurs, then look into it and fix things right.

This article, however, will provide answers to the question, “Why am I still single?” But keep in mind that this is not some miracle guide.

You have to first acknowledge that you are guilty of some answers that I will give here, then keep an open mind willing to accept corrections.

What is Singlehood Like?

But before I walk you through the reasons, you might still be single. Be sure you’re not under the impression that you won’t be whole until you find your ‘other half.’

Because there is no other half.

Relationships are wonderful, to be sure. They can offer you a lot of joy and they ensure that you have someone fighting for you.

Being in a relationship has a lot of benefits… Don’t forget, when it’s with the right person.

However, falling in love isn’t a magical solution to all of your issues, and you don’t need a significant partner to live a happy life. Same with falling out of love.

There are many advantages to being single, not least the flexibility and independence that comes with not having to schedule your life around a companion.

Contrary to popular belief, and despite the media’s portrayal of singledom and countless rom-coms, true happiness is entirely achievable when you’re single.

And many people, believing that being in a relationship with anyone is preferable to being alone, wind up in less-than-ideal partnerships that, rather than making them happy, make them sad.

However, if you’re looking for the proper person to live with and aren’t sure why they haven’t shown up yet, you’re looking for answers, which I hope you’ll find below.

The following is a comprehensive list of reasons someone might still be single.

A handful of them may apply to your circumstance, or you may read one of them and realize that that precise issue has been holding you back.

And some of them will remind you that you’re quite wonderful, which is why you haven’t found love yet.

So, let’s have a look at all the possibilities.

15 Honest Reasons Am I still Single

Here are fifteen reasons you might still be single.

  1. Low self-esteem
  2. You are too picky
  3. Dating is competitive, and you are afraid
  4. You are always indoors,
  5. You are not over your ex,
  6. Overly high self-esteem
  7. You have too many principles
  8. Simply not ready for a relationship yet
  9. You have not met the right person
  10. They were not ready
  11. You are a busy bee
  12. When you are too relaxed
  13. You are not approachable
  14. Your standards are high
  15. You are desperate for marriage

1. Low self-esteem

We all have this inner dialogue that goes on within us saying we are not good enough, we are not beautiful; we are too slim or too fat, or any other negative thing.

But do you know that listening to these voices has a way of affecting the way we behave and relate to people?

I guess you didn’t know!

When you listen to such voices, you send off people who might be potential partners. Yet, you keep asking, “What is wrong with me?” Common dear, it is your low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

So many people lack the confidence to interact with others when they are with people, let alone exchange contact with them.

How do you meet the love of your life when you struggle with low self-esteem?

Read Also: 22 Most Beneficial Dating Tips For Men – Relationshipties

2. You are just too picky

Most times, the reason you might still be single is that you are just too picky. Many people I’ve spoken to fall into this category of pickiness.

This usually happens when their expectations in their previous relationships aren’t met.

You hear them say “men are scum”, “all men are the same”, “all women are the same”, “all the good ones have been taken”.

Because of this, potential partners are judged and criticized from the moment they meet them.

This is particularly the wrong thing to do. I understand that you probably had unpleasant experiences in your past relationships, but using that perspective to judge other potential partners will not get you out of your singlehood.

Pinpointing faults and weaknesses when you haven’t even given them a chance will only leave you being alone.

A friend of mine recently walked out of her relationship when she discovered that the man she was dating was about to get married to another woman.

After that, she concluded all men were liars. Some months later, she met this guy who also professed love for her and marriage.

Because of her new perspective about men, she immediately started pinpointing unnecessary faults, not until I told her to give him a chance.

So they both went on a date, and she discovered they shared similar values and interests. They fell in love, and today they are happily married. Note there are also some reasons you might not be happy in your marriage.

This story shows that when we judge people from our experiences without giving them a chance, we may write off potential partners.

Before we move to the next point, you can check out my post: How Can I Save a Marriage Without Trust? 6 Effective ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage

3. Dating is competitive and you’re afraid

Let us be honest dating itself is competitive. You should know that that one person you are attracted to also has other people who are attracted to him/her.

It could discourage us from seeing that the person we are interested in has someone else attracted to him/her. This could make you back off immediately.

However, you should know that dating involves competition. Go for what you want, whether another person is pursuing it.

You may feel that they will shut you out if you approach them, but you never can tell. It might be the beginning of a happily ever after journey.

I understand that your fear of competition may prevent you from going out there, but you just have to embrace your fears at this point.

4. You are always indoors

This is especially for my introverted friends who are stuck at a place, usually indoors all day long.

If you are tired of being lonely, you should be ready to become an outgoing person because your potential partner will not appear right before you in your home.

To make that happen, you would have to build your social network, exchange contacts with people, and follow up on them.

From going out, you get to meet new people, make new friends and get to know them better on a more personal level. You never can tell if you would find your better half.

5. You are not over your ex

If you are still fond of your ex, then that could be the answer to your question, “Why am I single? “

When you still stalk them on social media, you keep in touch with them, or still cherish the gifts they gave to you, then it is obvious you are not over your ex yet.

This has kept many people single until this moment. They haven’t healed yet. If you truly want to come out of your singlehood, then you have to pick back your pieces and put yourself together.

Holding on, hoping to win them back, will rather slow down your healing process.

So, you should let them go, regain your stability, and then walk into another relationship.

6. High self-esteem

If you are the type of person who has overly high self-esteem, it can affect your chances of getting hooked on your ideal partner.

People in this category have this outrageous sense of self. They feel nobody is too good for them.

They write off potential partners easily because they feel those people are not worth up to them.

If this is your case, you cannot get anywhere with anybody with such an attitude.

7. You have too many principles

You may have experienced some things in your past relationship(s) that you would not want to have repeated in future relationships.

As a result, you put down certain rules that would guide your next dating journey.

Honestly, these things do not work like that, and doing them makes you judge innocent people based on your experiences.

Rather, keep an open mind. Keeping an open mind will help you meet your ideal partner faster.

8. You are simply not ready for a relationship yet

You are not alone if you find yourself in this boat. There may be other reasons you just feel you are not ready for a relationship yet.

Maybe you feel you are not financially stable yet or perhaps you have been single for quite a long time and it just feels weird taking that enormous step.

Maybe you are not happy as a single person. If you feel you are not ready for a relationship yet, then it’s high time you fixed things.

9. You have not met the right person

Before you tear yourself apart with questions like “Why am I still single?” pause to think about it.

I know how annoying it is to think that you have yet to meet someone right for you. But be assured that you would cross paths with them someday.

It hurts, I know, but just give it time, dearie. Soon, they will come by.

10. They were not ready

Not being ready could be one of the reasons you might still be alone. Remember the saying that goes thus “it takes two to tango”. Some people take a break from relationships to work on issues they feel need to be fixed in their lives.

I’m truly sorry if you’ve recently been involved with such people. This is not your fault now because it’s about them.

So, you might still be single because you’ve been involved with this set of people lately, thinking that you’re not ready for a relationship.

You can read also Signs on How to Know You Are Ready for a Relationship

11. You are a busy bee.

One of the reasons you might still be alone might be because you’re too busy with life.

Love is something that requires time to nurture and build. If you are too busy with your career and other things you love to do, then it will be difficult for you to fit in love.

You might have met someone in the past with whom you would have built a loving relationship, but it didn’t work because of your busy schedule.

However, you could still find someone who can fit into this busy schedule or one you can sacrifice a few of your schedules for.

12. You are too relaxed

On second thought, maybe you are being too relaxed about the whole love thing. I know it can tire to take an evening stroll or start out a new hobby after having a long day at work.

But if you really want love, go get it because it won’t always come to you. Make new friends, learn new stuff, get a new hobby and you wouldn’t know when it will happen.

13. You are not approachable.

If people find it hard to approach you, I think it’s something you should look into.

Maybe they’ve tried to but your expression sends them away or probably you are just too shy to meet with people. If so, then it might be why you are still single.

14. Your standards are high

This could be another reason you’re still single. You might not have found the right one simply because your standards are high.

You don’t want to settle for less, and that is good. Soon, the one who matches your standards will come by.

15. You are desperate for marriage.

This is one of the reasons you might still be alone. You might have missed opportunities to build love simply because you didn’t see any potential for marriage with the person then.

Now, you are desperate for marriage and whoever approaches you without preaching marriage kills your interest automatically. To fix this, stop being desperate and allow love to find you.

Read also: How Can I Save a Marriage Without Trust? 6 Effective ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage


The reason you are asking “why am I still alone?” has a lot more to do with you than the people you have a romantic involvement with.

Just love people genuinely, keep an open mind, be open to meeting new people, make new friends, and embrace opportunities. Who knows, you might soon find your better half.

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