Impotency, also known as erectile dysfunction can take a great toll in most marriages. It has been a great concern for some men leading to stress, anxiety, and frustration but definitely not the end of their sex life.

Sex has been identified as an act alluring, intimating, exciting, and enjoyable between two persons of the opposite gender, with a desire to get satisfaction from it.

However, this could be very true between consenting adults, who share some level of intimacy and of good physical, medical and mental condition.

As a woman, you have to find ways to get past the issue in the bedroom and improve your sex life even if you are married to an impotent man. Doing this is actually one of the easiest ways to avoid broken marriages or relationships.

The question on the lip of every woman whose husband’s penis is not working is, Can she enjoy sex without an erection?

The answer to the question can be subjective to an extent but on a general note you don’t necessarily need a hard penis to experience sex pleasure.

Guess you are shocked about that statment, Right?

So I was until I made some research and listen to some couples’ story.

This article gives a clearer picture. So, if you are in love with an impotent man or you are married to an impotent man this article will be of great help to you. Carefully read.

Meanwhile, the table of content below gives an overview of all the points made in this article. You can as well navigate through.


This is a million dollar question and someone could rush to give a No or Yes Answer. But before getting to that conclusion it will be nice for us to understand what impotency really is.

According to, Impotency, which in other words is referred to as ‘erectile dysfunction, occurs when a man can’t get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse. It could be caused by various dietary, medical, and physical causative agents and circumstances.

The major challenge with this condition is that it could be difficult for penetration to fully take effect, as thrusting becomes difficult, thus that contact required to make penal sex enjoyable is lost.

This could be so for a man who is impotent cant get any form of erection, however, for a man who assumes erection, the challenge will be ‘For how long the erection can the erection last?’


The answer is a subjective one, and dependent on the nature of the impotency a man is having. But one thing that should be understood is that sex itself is not all about ‘Penal sex’, there are other forms of sexual intercourse that some women have identified to be more enjoyable.

From research, a great percentage of women have so much likeness for ‘Oral Sex’ (Cunilingus) with many saying it gives more pleasure to them than the ‘Big Bang’. Even some, who enjoy the Penal sex, still insist that some form of Oral sex excites them.

 So where a man who is impotent, either partially or completely lacks erection, improving his understanding of other sex relations variant, and good foreplay, may be able to help him give a woman pleasurable sex.

Also, improved dietary and physical, and mental condition, may improve the longevity of his erection, thereby helping his activity of penal sex.  


These are how to please an impotent or sexually incompetent man:

  • Oral Sex
  • Sensuous touch
  • Change in attitude
  • Do some crazy stuff with him

#1. Oral Sex

Blow Job is a great option when penetrative sex isn’t. In fact, it is one of the best sex positions you can try out any time. As a woman whose husband’s penis is not working, you need to learn some things that will get your husband sexually arouse.

Knowing how to use your tongue down there is one of the ways you can enjoy sex with your husband.

Always open up to your partner about what you’re feeling and going through.

A woman may feel she’s not attractive to her husband anymore, while a man may feel he is failing her as a man, being upfront and honest about what you’re feeling, you can work together to find other ways to enjoy each other’s bodies.

#2. Sensuous touch

This is one of the most effective ways on how to please an impotent man in bed. The largest organ in the body is the skin, as orgasm can trigger the release of oxytocin a hormone known as a feel-good hormone, a woman should use this to her own advantage and touch her partner often when he is naked. 

Cuddling each other while naked can be all you need to help your body experience the same hormonal responses to those you feel during sex not an orgasm, but feelings of sensual pleasure. This way can provide a manner of physical bonding when penetrative sex isn’t an option too.

#3. Change in attitude

Another way you on how to please an impotent man in bed is by changing your attitude and perception about him being impotent. To have a good sex life, a hard erection is not always required. It’s not a joke, some women never reach orgasm via penetrative sex.

Depending on what caused your impotency, it may or may not be a permanent state of affairs.

However, being sexually active with or without penetration will be beneficial to your penile health and your emotional wellbeing.

#4. Do some crazy stuff with him

If you get married to an impotent man, then you should learn how to please him, always use your fingers, your tongue and your mouth to provide pleasure to him and make sure your partner knows that although he is not able to achieve a full erection, you still enjoy the sensation that comes from him.

Massage each other, have showers or baths together, and finally, consider investing in some sex toys.

Vibrating toys and personal massagers can make simple touch feel more interesting and intense, and can also help you bring your partner to orgasm.


If you’re troubled about your husband’s sexual incompetence, how it’s affecting your sexual life, your marriage, or your health the first step is to talk to your doctor.

Most especially, if your husband’s penis is not working, your doctor may suggest medication or other treatments, such as couples’ counseling or psychotherapy.

You can start with these strategies.

  • Remind him how much you value him
  • Express your feelings
  • Be Sensitive
  • Discover new ways to please him
  • Learn as much as you can about impotency
  • Remain positive
  • Offer to go with them to the doctor
  • Choose the right time
  • Be honest
  • Don’t rush it

#1. Remind him how much you value him. 

Let him know that impotency isn’t a reflection of their masculinity and that it hasn’t changed how you feel about him. Reassure him you will help him pass this stage.

#2. Express your feelings

You’re affected too. Just like anything else that’s going on in your marriage, it can help to talk about it.

#3. Be Sensitive

Men who are sexually incompetent or whose penis doesn’t work may feel nervous about sex, perhaps because of a bad experience, or the fear of premature ejaculation.

Some men may be so self-conscious, they can hardly talk about it, much less enjoy trying to do it. Let him know that you’re willing to discuss ways to help.

Be sensitive and help your partner understand the cause of the issue, and what to do about it.

#4. Discover new ways to please him

As things change in some marriages, and with our bodies, sometimes couples need to find a new normal when it comes to sex, especially if your partner is sexually incompetent. This not only can reduce anxiety about having an erection, but it can be fun.

There are lots of ways to please an impotent man that don’t involve penetration, such as caressing, mutual masturbation or oral sex. Your partner may even welcome the chance to try something new.

#5. Learn as much as you can about impotency

The more you learn about your husband’s condition, the better prepared you’ll be able to help your partner.

You can talk about the lifestyle changes and medical treatments that could be of help to him.

#6. Remain positive

Have a close discussion with him, what you need from him and how to achieve it. Also, assure him that the condition is common and can be treated.

#7. Offer to go with them to the doctor.

Even if they decide to go on their own, they’ll know you want to be there for them.

#8. Choose the right time

Pick the right moment to talk. Don’t do it immediately after sex, unless you’re telling your partner how good you feel with him, And be sure to choose a time when you both are alone and uninterrupted by phones or children.

#9. Be honest

If you’re both honest about your feelings, you’ve got a much better chance of finding solutions that work for both of you.

Be reassuring, and don’t say things are fine when they aren’t. If you’re in a new relationship, this may be difficult, but if you’ve found someone willing to listen and understand, she or he will make it easier.

#10. Don’t rush it

It may be tempting to fix the issue right away, but be patient with one another. And be patient during sex. Choose a time when you both can be relaxed and unhurried.

Don’t be quick to have sex if either one of you is overtired or anxious.


If your husand is impotent, how are things you can do to make him enjoy his sex life:

  • Distraction
  • Foreplay
  • Mix Things
  • Change Sex Positions
  • Mix Up Strokes
  • Pausing
  • Outer Course

#1. Distraction

Build a sudden sensations away from your clitoris just before orgasm, try tapping or squeezing your inner thigh.

This can help take your focus away from your clitoris and give you a moment to gather yourself before going over again.

#2. Foreplay

Take the heat off the penetrative aspect of sex by taking him to the edge of heaven before you take the plunge.

There are many forms of foreplay, the simplest is kissing and it’s often overlooked and never underestimate the power of a smooch.

Study each other, anything that turns you both on and doesn’t involve penetration can be counted as foreplay, so have some fun and experiment together.

#3. Mix Things

Many couples spend a few minutes on foreplay, then go straight to intercourse until completion.

You can make the best out of sex by playing around with the order of the specific activities that are usually a part of your sex life.

Take breaks from penetrative intercourse, and go back to “foreplay.”

You can give each other erotic massages, from there move on to blow jobs then back to intercourse then go for oral sex, Masturbate in front of your partner until you reach orgasm.

Go back to intercourse and then finish up with your mouth. Mixing things up in this way is fun and will make your husband last longer.

#4. Change Sex Positions

Shallower and longer thrust during sexually intercourse will make your husband last longer in bed, you should also change position during intercourse, some sex position makes it easier to last long during sex.

You can try sitting on a chair, Lotus, Modified Doggy style, Reversed cow leg, side by side, or spooning. Just give it a trial and see how your husband will be pleased with you.

#5. Mix Up Strokes

Advice your husband to refrain from the usual strokes which is hard, fast, and deep thrusts during sex, it makes it easier to reach orgasm quickly.

He should mix up his strokes. Aim for a couple of fast strokes followed up by a couple of long, slow, shallow ones.

Let him grab your hips, and then whisper to him “I want you to go really slow for a minute.

As slowly as you can possibly go.” Or you can tell him “I want to feel your whole penis moving in and out of me.

#6. Pausing

Move your hand (or your husband’s hand) away when you feel as if you are about to reach orgasm. Cool down for a few minutes, then start again.

This may also help him delay his ejaculation, giving you both a longer and more pleasurable experience.

But do warn him if you’re about to do this, otherwise, he might feel rejected and that would be a bit of a passion killer.

#7. Outer Course

Your husband needs to try this, let him use the head of his penis to rub against your clitoris.

This is a great trick for so many reasons. It allows your husband to take a break and bring his arousal levels back down.

But rather than just sitting there feeling awkward, you’re still doing something very erotic, it also gives you some much-needed and much-appreciated stimulation.


Erectile Dysfunction or impotency is a common problem that affects many men at some point during their life.

Don’t think your husband is on this alone, the highest thing he needs from you at this point is support, still show how much you love and care for him, and don’t let your sexual life with him crumble all because of his penis is no longer working.

Learn how to please him and make him last longer in bed.

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